Sleepy Violence

I’ve mentioned before how tired I’ve been. Thinking about crawling back into my bed now actually makes me tear up, because I would just love to, but can’t. You know, because momma gots to make the money. (side note: when I was a kid, I was terrible about going to be at a decent hour, no matter how hard my mom made me try. I would go in my room and just lay in bed. So every once in a while, I’d convince my mom that I had a “stomach ache” just so I could stay home from school and sleep. Which obviously did not help me go to sleep any easier the next night.)

Lately, Workaholic has really gotten into the show NCIS. Which means that I am into the show NCIS. We used to watch CSI, (Las Vegas, Miami, and New York) but I think either he got tired of it or he has seen them all. Either way, we watch it, a lot. (he has 68 of them recorded on his DVR) Anytime we are home, it is on, and THANK GOD the cable channel USA has marathons of NCIS on all. the. time. Just in case we aren’t in the bedroom, where his DVR is. And since they are marathons, it’s not like we turn on the TV in the living room at 6pm while I am making dinner and watch it during dinner and that is the end of it. OH NO…we watch during dinner, and then go up in the office and watch some more, and then maybe he takes a shower and turns it on in the bathroom, and while I am folding clothes in our bedroom, I try to ignore the fact that I can hear the same episode that I am watching in the bedroom from his TV in the bathroom except it is delayed by about 2 seconds because of his DVR and also because, as I have mentioned before, THE TV HAS TO BE ON THIS LOUD.

This would all be OK, because there really isn’t anything on TV nowadays that I am that interested in watching, and I really do like Gibbs, McGee, Tony, Ziva, and especially Abs. I really am fine with watching stories about dead people during my waking hours at home…until it is time to go to bed. Because I am a firm believer that when it is time to go to bed, you turn off the TV. But Workaholic likes to fall asleep with the TV on. I got around this for a few years by decreeing “no TV in the bedroom.” But then we moved upstairs and we have a big ol' projection TV up there that is way too hard to move. So then he would just turn it on for a few minutes and I would reach over his corpse-like body when the sleep breathing started.

But now, NOW, I am into the show. So when we get into bed, and he turns on an episode and is asleep 15 minutes into it, I just cannot turn it off. I have to stay up and watch the end. Did Gibbs really kill that police detective? Did Jenny really die? Will Abby get her Caf-Pow?? So this means that I am not going to sleep until after 11pm on most days. And while I have been attempting to sleep in a bit later, it just hasn’t been working out.

It is not for lack of trying to sleep in. This too would be Workaholic’s fault. (notice how I tend to blame him for everything??) This morning, for example, he got up and went into the bathroom a little after 6am. I heard the fan turn on, which is white noise, totally can handle that. Then I hear the TV turn on. Oh no. Please God no. And there, there goes the volume…up, up, up like Mary Poppins flying a kite. And whoo-boy, when the commercials come on?? I give up. I know it is only 45 minutes, but that is the best 45 minutes of sleep I get all night!! I almost went and slept in the guest room, but my mom was in there, I am not sure she would have appreciated an early morning cuddle.

I seriously considered pulling a stunt like I did in the 7th grade, and just call my boss and say that I was sick. But I am an adult now, and even if I was sick, I probably would still have to take care of Samantha, and wouldn’t get much sleep anyway. So I decided to just whine about it here. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated, especially if they involve violence, because if this crap continues, I do think that the boy is going to get a swift kick to the head. (lovingly, of course) However, I do think a couple of people who read here are fairly new to the site due to the wonderment of facebook, so until I figure out just how hard I can hit him without leaving a mark I’ll do the next best thing…post a not-so-flattering picture of Workaholic and Samantha taken when she was just a few weeks old. Yes, this was taken in our bathroom. And yes, the TV and the fan were on. THIS LOUD.

It's all TV's fault

One of the things that I have always been sure of in life is that TV is a time-sucker. It could be a time machine, as it is the single-most invention on the planet designed to make hours fly by and you have no idea where they went. It’s even worse than the internet, because usually on the internet, there is some reading involved. With TV, however, you sit down on the couch, and next thing you know, Saturday has turned into Tuesday and you forgot to go to work. This I know, and I really am OK with that.

A couple of years ago when I joined myspace, I laughed and laughed when the profile question came up “Favorite TV shows.” And than I began to list them. I had probably 20 or so when I was done, ranging in everything from Animal Planet (the entire channel…except anything to do with reptiles or sharks) to Zoey 101 (OK, not really). But you get the picture. We even bought a 65 inch DLP TV that I still heart. And then I had Sam.

It’s not that I really watch that much less TV, because Workaholic is insistent that it MUST BE ON AND BE THIS LOUD IN EVERY ROOM THAT HE IS IN. It’s just that I haven’t watched my favorite TV in a while, in my favorite chair, or my favorite shows. Which, granted, aren’t on right now anyway. Moral of the story is, in the evenings, after I eat (or don’t eat) dinner, I’ve been taking walks. Always with Fonz and Sam, sometimes with Workaholic. It’s been great.

Until last night. I heard on the radio on the way home that there was a severe thunderstorm WARNING out for Cook and DuPage counties in Illinois. You know, the state next door. Which means that there IS a severe thunderstorm out there, watch out for it and take cover if it comes. Now, if you look at a map, Cook and DuPage counties in IL are just to the west of my house, and, contrary to my belief, not a bit north. So I set out on my walk with my mother and daughter and dog. And yes, I did notice the sky was dark, and the clouds were all roll-y and fast-moving. And yes, the thought did occur to me to turn around, but there was a thing with a house down the street, and her dogs, and I thought I’d keep going for a little while until she got them all inside. Stupid me, being all nice and considerate. We won’t let that happen again.

So we finally decide to turn around and go home, and then we decide to cut across the golf course to get home quicker, and then I make the mistake of looking up. It was a mistake, because no matter what, we were going to get soaked. But I look up and see the clubhouse, which is about 400 yards away, almost invisible through a wall of rain. And I mean, a wall. Which quickly overtook us. (and I now cannot get the picture of the nearly invisible clubhouse out of my head) So we attempt to run, alternately pushing and carrying the stroller, and the wind is pushing us over, and poor little Samantha is just lying in her stroller going “Why the hell am I getting wet with my clothes on?? This shit is COLD.”

We finally make it home, dodging the piles of dog poo as we sort of run across the backyard, and I say sort of because by now we’ve run against the wind quite a bit and we are both pretty much out of shape. Workaholic said later that when he heard the rain and saw the lightening he laughed at first, until he remembered that his daughter was out there, and so he jumped in the car to go find us. (good thing we had her, otherwise for all he knew we could have died out there.) I would be remiss not to mention at this point that the whole time Fonz, everlasting in his weirdness, literally pranced along next to us as we were staggering across the golf course and gave me that look that says, “Hey, can we do that again?” when we got inside. He likes water, no matter how he gets there, he likes to be wet.


Moral of the story? Either stay in and watch TV, let fear and common sense turn you around, or at least check the radar next time!

Milestones and other assorted tidbits

So I turned 30 this weekend. It was fairly uneventful, except I somehow managed to stretch it out 4 days, and I am exhausted. First, dinner and presents with the in-laws. (surprise!) Second, presents and cake with Workaholic, then a blissful sleep after a long, hot, sticky, sad day. Third, visiting with my parents (more presents and cake!!) and finally, a full day of spending money at the outlet malls. (which BTW, I am really good at! Thanks for helping me Nadene!!!)

The learning experience for the weekend is that Xanex can cause the munchies. As evidenced by here. (if you look closely, you can see the blue tongue and blue slobber on the bottom of his lip)

Also, please remember that this is National Stay at Home Week, as declared by the major networks. There is just too much good TV on to step out into the sunlight.

Oh boy....

Exact quote from my husband...

"Doesn't everyone have two big screen TV's in their bedroom?"