Colds and Babies

I have a cold. I guess this is what happens when a small child who has a cold coughs directly into your open mouth. So I am all sniffley and sort of achy and super tired. The tired part is really nothing new, but now I have another excuse, on top of being pregnant with an almost 15 month old.

Speaking of, my daughter is a little girl. I mean, a real, live, little girl. She loves her babies. And my loves, I mean that she can hone in on one in any room within about 30 seconds and immediately declares it hers. Her daycare teacher actually asked me how we handle it when she gets “attached” to something and that something needs to get taken away. The example given was her baby. Oh dear. She carries her babies (yes, plural) around most of the day, occasionally disregarding their safety and tossing them aside for a drink of juice of perhaps a “bear” (aka Teddy Graham). She must sleep with them, and if you have to wake her in the morning, she has to eat with them as well. She has this same attachment to her blanket, only a little less severe. She seems to know that the blanket is for when you are tired and cranky and crabby and crying all. the. time.

So she is a little girl who already has a preference of which barrette she wants in her hair, knows that when she is wearing a dress she looks pretty, and is developing this new high-pitched squeal/scream/cry that I have been dreading. She is also a little girl who has a nice, high tolerance for pain, and thinks nothing of knocking her head against a wall or falling down and scraping her knees. She isn’t a huge fan of grass, and when she touched it when picking up Easter eggs, she always brushed her hands off, as if to tell that dirty, dirty grass to suck it. (I hope that she gets over the grass thing, one of my favorite childhood memories was running around the yard.)

Yesterday, my sister and mom took my twin nieces to the American Girl store in Chicago. They each came home with a set of little twins, and also a wheelchair as an accessory. (Not quite sure how that came about.) Sam immediately decided that the babies, yes, ALL FOUR, were hers. And they belonged in the recliner, or the wheelchair to be pushed around. She could’ve played for hours. Fortunately, my nieces are very good about sharing and knew damn well that those babies were going home with them. And Sam was just so darn cute. And no, I did NOT think to grab my video camera so everyone could enjoy my child’s adorableness. (Yes, the Flip video camera that I bought so I can keep in my purse where it is ever so handy to just grab when something sweet is happening.) We had to sneak the babies out of the house, and since Sam’s attention span at this point is just longer than that of a gnat, there wasn’t too much trauma.

I always knew that little girls could be fun. I was just convinced when I was pregnant the first time around that karma would rear its ugly head and I would be challenged with a child that put me straight into the insane asylum. And yes, I know that could still happen. But for now, she is so darn cute, and sweet, and easy-going, that I can’t imagine it any other way. On Thursday, we go in for our 2nd ultrasound, and we can find out the sex of this baby. Don’t get all excited folks…there are 19 more weeks of waiting for you and me alike. We WON’T be finding out if this is a boy or a girl, it’s just more fun that way. (Plus, I don’t think my credit card could take it…once I know what I am having, let the online shopping commence!)

Bad Day, Bad Night

I had a bad day at work today. I'm not going to say much beyond that, because, well, that's just not smart for someone who is trying to not lose her job. And I went to bed early, hoping that sleep would take the bad day away. But as I am laying there, trying to sleep, my mind keeps spinning. And I keep thinking about all the other bad days I've had at work in the past 5 1/2 years. The apologies I have been forced to make that I now regret with all my being, the times when I opened my mouth when I shoudn't have, the other times when I opened my mouth when I shoudn't have. Not because I was wrong, but because some people just couldn't take what a little girl like me had to say.

So I am laying there, wishing for sleep, hoping for sleep, praying for sleep, to take away the bad day. Because I am sick of thinking about all the other bad days. And then Workaholic starts to "breathe heavily". And that just tops my bad day. I can't fall asleep with that kind of noise in the room. I know that everyone has a boss, and not everyone gets along with their boss, and everyone has to deal with their boss. It really sucks when you have four. I wish I could go in and do my job and not have to deal with four bosses. I wish I had not had a bad day today. I wish I could just go to sleep.

Exhaling-A Bitch About Crappy Weather

Pamela over at 2MuchTestosterone has issued a new meme, one I think I’m going to love. In short, bitch just because it’s Monday. OR, brag about your weekend on Monday. Here’s the thing…I’m going to bitch today.

I’ll be short and sweet. It fucking rained and was cold all weekend. Which is crap. I spend all week cooped up in a tiny little cubicle surrounded by insane people, (I love you all!) and when the weekend comes, I want to take the dog for a walk with the kid in the stroller and get outside and DO SOMETHING. As opposed to spending $50 at Target on Easter candy. (BTW, doesn’t Easter have THE BEST candy?? It just blows Halloween out of the water.) And then, AND THEN, I go looking for the peanut butter eggs that I’ve been inhaling at work, courtesy of someone else, and I CAN’T FIND THEM. WHY DOES GOD HATE ME???

OK, I feel better.

Feel free to leave your own complaints or brags about YOUR weekend in comments. Have fun!!

Another Gosselin Rant

OK, I have something I’ve got to get off my chest. And I know that most people probably disagree with me on this, but just friggin’ hear me out. It’s about Kate Gosselin.

I know, I know. “Kate’s a bitch, Kate’s a terrible mother, no wonder Jon left Kate.” I’ve heard it all. But try to look at things her way. She married young, which is not a crime. She married an idiot who wasn’t mature, also not a crime. (in fact, most people have made many of the same errors…and no one judges them so harshly) It’s not her fault that he didn’t stand up for himself, or quit standing up for himself. There is this little thing called marriage, and being a mature grown-up. When you have 8 kids under the age of 3, yeah, things are going to get tough. But that is when you ask for help and figure shit out.

And so together, TOGETHER, they made decisions. They decided to try for one more child. NO ONE, I REPEAT, NO ONE, thinks they are going to get six kids when they are trying fertility. You might get two or three, but SIX??? So, they decided to go on TV. They decided to buy a new, much larger house. They decided to have Jon stay home while Kate traveled around selling books and making money to support a family of ten. They decided to get not one, but two dogs. And then Jon was like, “Oh wait, I’ve changed, I suddenly realize I’m not like I was when I was 21, I’m not happy anymore.” (BTW...who is like they were when they were 21?) And then it was like he blamed her for everything. And now, she is stuck with an ex-husband who she can’t depend on, a million dollar home on acreage that has to be taken care of, not to mention eight kids.

I’m not saying that marriage and divorce isn’t a 2 way street. Because it totally is. And she had a hand in the failure of her marriage too. But for God’s sake people, give the woman a break!! This is the question that drives me crazy the most…”Who’s watching her kids while she is on Dancing With the Stars?” (aka…while she is making money). I don’t know…How about her ex-husband??? Oh wait, he’s not that helpful, so she has to have a full-time babysitter. Why is not a single person saying, “Where is Jon the five days a week you are home?” and “Why doesn’t Jon come and stay with the kids while you are away two days a week?” Does he even contribute to the household expenses for his kids’ house? Does he go to the grocery store or does he buy things like shampoo and toilet paper? Does he check homework every night?

I hate it when MEN say, “She is such a bitch, she is setting a terrible example for her children.” Umm…are you in her house? Do you see how she deals with them, every day? What about the example Jon is setting for the kids? Dating a 22 year old and hosting Vegas parties and living hours away in New York City? Maybe he deals with them great in the house, when no one is watching, (since he kicked out the TV cameras), but WE don’t know that. WE don’t know how the kids are doing. Don’t just assume that SHE is fucking up the kids. You know, by working. (Which BTW…how the hell is she supposed to support a family of 10 on a nurse’s salary? That is her other option. Don’t judge until you’ve been put in her shoes.)

I just hate the double standard. I fucking hate it. (If Jon was on Dancing With the Stars, no one would even question it. In fact, why isn’t he? What is he doing lately?) The woman is simply a nurse who became a mom who was on TV. She isn’t an actress or a performer or someone who has been in the spotlight all her life or someone who has huge boobs and is making a living based off of that. She is just trying to support her kids. Give her a fucking break.

Lacking in...

Mama Kat proposed a very interesting writers workshop this week. Ask someone who loves you what one of your weaknesses is. Hmm…OK, so I’ll ask Workaholic, since it’s easiest. I was for sure he was going to say something like motivation or being lazy or having a big mouth. But instead, he has to just stab me in the heart and say self-confidence.

Ouch. OK, to be fair, I completely agree. But that’s the first thing you think of? I suppose it’s all related…what’s the point in having some huge goal when you probably aren’t going to reach it? And if you don’t have a goal, it’s really easy to be lazy. Hmm…he might be on to something here.

My family would probably totally disagree, and be all, “Gail, you are totally confident! You don’t have a problem at all!” I really think they just have this opinion because I have little impulse control around them, so I say what I think, and that could be confused with confidence. I can talk the talk, but not walk the walk.

For example, one time I went with my brother-in-law and his friend to a bar in a random town. I am NOT used to going to bars without a girlfriend where I know NO ONE, in fact, most of the bars I go to, (or at least used to go to) I would like because of the people, not necessarily because it was the awesome place to go. When I was in college, it was the Neon Cactus, and the piano bar, we went so much that the piano man knew us. After college it became this little pub I’d go to in Michigan with my in-laws (because Workaholic was earning his nickname and I was bored).

So we go into this bar and I talked to a couple of girls for about 5 seconds in the very itty bitty teeny tiny small bathroom. About a half hour later, I decided to try to get a dance party going on the empty dance floor. (BTW, I can’t dance.) I apparently thought that these girls and I were now besties since we had said hello, so I go up to one of the girls and was all, “Come on! Let’s dance!” I might’ve even grabbed her hand. And she seriously looks at me and goes, “Do I know you?” You know, with that tone. Ouch. OK, nevermind. I’m pretty sure at that point I started drinking much. more. heavily. So that has nothing to do with confidence, but lack of impulse control that comes with Miller Lite.

I was especially bad at this in high school, when alcohol was only partly to blame. (sorry mom) I shudder to think about how I interacted with some of the boys I dated. All I’m going to say is, “Stalk much?” (OK, I wasn’t a certifiable stalker, but just a little overzealous. I just wanted some attention damnit!) So if any of you ex’s are out there and reading this…especially ones from high school, all I can say is, sorry ‘bout that. I’m really not crazy.

I guess I need to work on this self-confidence thing. I tried once at work, and let’s just say that not only was I thrown under the bus, but it was backed up over me and then the driver got out and pissed on me. So that didn’t help. I try to fake it, like going out to a strange bar in a strange city, but I typically wind up self-judging and comparing myself to all the other girls in the bar. (what is it with girls and competition??) Anyone have any suggestions? Poor little Sam doesn’t need me to pass on my issues…

Sugar Monster

You know how when you are pregnant that everyone assumes you have crazy cravings, like Mike N Ike’s on a banana sandwich with jelly and pickels as a side? Yeah…not me. I’m such a boring pregnant person that my doctor makes up conversations just to fill up the 10 minute appointment time, (we spent most of my last one talking about snowmobiles and boats) and I honestly think that Workaholic forgets that I am with child half of the time. He never understands why I am so tired all of the time, and if I have an angry outburst he just says, “It’s really too bad that you don’t love me. If you did, you wouldn’t be so mean to me.” (He really knows how to play off of the Catholic guilt) (Then again, if he wouldn’t piss me off, then I wouldn’t have to yell at him! Why can’t he just understand that??)

It has come to my attention that I actually do have a craving. No, it’s not watermelon or pickles or licorice or tea. It’s sugar. Plain and simple. I want sugar. Whether it’s in the form of M&M’s (my current snack of choice), or ice cream bars (when it’s 30 degrees outside) or Fun Dips. I love sugar. I’m afraid this kid is going to come out spinning on its head and demanding to be mainlined a steady stream of pure, white, beautiful sugar cane. (Which, BTW, is brown. Who knew??)

I’ve always loved sugar, when I was a little kid I used to climb up on the countertop and just pour straight sugar into my mouth from the canister. I would use strawberries as an excuse in the summertime to get to eat more sugar. Mmm….sugar. I love it. Sorry to be so boring in my cravings, but at least it’s easy. Workaholic does NOT have to make any midnight trips to Taco Bell, which is probably a good thing. He doesn’t do Mexican so well.

Wordless Wednesday - Happy St. Patrick's Day!!!

First attempt at a photo...too early in the morning...

Sam and Fonz, this could be the best picture yet I have of the two of them...

HAPPY ST. PATTY'S DAY!!!!!