Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Better Late Than Never

January 8th was a Friday this year. Last year it was a Thursday. Tuesday the 6th was my due date, it came and went rather uneventfully other than I didn't sleep much since I'd been having fake contractions since Sunday. But the 8th? The 8th of January 2009 was a great day. It was the day Samantha was born. It didn't start out so great, since the Sadistic Whore of a night nurse refused to medicate me. But once Dr. Arch-Your-Back-Like-an-Angry-Cat came into my life, the 8th of January got so. much. better.

I was thinking of this when I was walking out of work this January 8th. It was a Friday, so I should've been all pumped right? No. Work this January has really gotten me down, and it was almost worse that day as I drove home and was thinking back on that Thursday. I started thinking about how happy I was. At the time, and after I got back to work after Sam was born, I heard people say that they were on a high after giving birth. And I thought, "Well, that's crap. I didn't get high." Looking back though, I realize I was just...happy.

I was surrounded by family and friends who loved me. They were taking care of me, and my baby. They were in awe of her, and even of me a little bit. Even the nurse ( day nurse, the one who was there for the big event, the one who promised me that she could deliver my baby if she needed to, but we were paying the doctor the big bucks, so he needed to earn them) told me how awesome I was, since I did everything she told me to. I made her job a lot easier. And I made her laugh too, so that helped.

I was medicated for the pain, which was nice, because there was definitely pain. I was brought gifts, and water, and Peggy showed me how to use my squirt bottle. (if you don't know, don't ask) I got to hold my new baby daughter, and watch other people hold and adore her. And I was a texting fool. I was happy.

Fast-forward a year. I am back into the throws of life, back into the stupid drama that I either create, participate in, or am an innocent by-stander. No one is telling me that I am awesome, in fact, the exact opposite is happening. I am treated like a trouble-maker, a pot-stirrer, and I really don't think that is true. I may call people out for being dumb, but if you are dumb, that is your problem. I'm no Mensa member, and if I do something wrong, I'll fess up. So own it.

So January 8th of this year was kind of a let-down for me. I suppose I never thought of it as being impossible to match the happiness of January 8th, 2009. I look forward to having other days like January 8th, 2009 in the future. Samantha won't be our only child. I'm excited for the future, and until January is over, that is what I am holding on to. That and my beautiful little girl.


emily said...

I think you're awesome

Pamela Gold said...

I really want to blog about my most recent birth, you just gave me the kick in the ass to actually follow through. Happy Birthday Sam! Is she walking?

me said...

I think you're awesome too even when you tell me I'm dumb!

Anonymous said...

Is this a hint to maybe another baby coming? LOL Happy B-Day Sam

Lakejunkies said...

Lakejunkies sent the last message LOL