"The Cradle"

Ever since I can remember, well, ever since my in-laws have felt comfortable talking about kids with me, I have heard about “The Cradle”. It was bought when my husband was on the way, (or maybe given, I don’t remember…that’s my brain shrinking you hear) and since then, has been used by almost every kid born on the planet. OK, so maybe that is a slight exaggeration…I believe my child will be the 14th, and it’s been to at least 4 different states, 5 if Illinois is on the list. So you can imagine that I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. But I have good reason!!!!

You see, my husband was a bit notorious as a child. (I didn’t start hearing these stories until after I got pregnant, I am sure there is a conspiracy there, seeing as how up until 7 months ago, my husband and his brothers were GREAT, angels, boys of course, but not hardly any trouble at all.) Ever since then, I get to hear the weird things that they did…especially my Workaholic.

When he was a day old, he got himself stuck in the crib in the nursery. You know, those see through type ones that are just big enough for a newborn? Yeah…he twisted himself sideways and got jammed…and then promptly got pissed. I am fairly certain the nurses stood over him and laughed before taking a picture and then helping him out. (at least that’s what I would have done!)

My MIL claims that he was only a couple of weeks old the first time that he rolled over, and then by the time he was nine months old, he was, literally, flipping out of his crib. But the flipping was after he would stand in his crib, grip the rails, (when he wasn’t chewing on them) and shake. And shake. And shake. He would shake the crib so hard that it dented the wall. And then the crib had to be reinforced before his younger brother could be put in it.

When he was about 2, his brother was crying, and so my oh-so-helpful husband decided to get the poor little guy from his cradle and hold him by his head (as in, head, not shoulders or neck even) as he carried him down the hall to his mother. “Mom, I got da baby!” When he was 10, the phone rang as his mom was getting ready to give his youngest brother his first bath, and by the time she was done talking, the newborn baby was clean and dry and ready for bed. (at least he was a useful older brother).

I always pictured this cradle as just sitting in the attic above my in-laws garage, put together, gathering dust and peeling paint. And my MIL has been saying for months now to go get it, and I keep telling my husband to go get it, and we were there the other day and he went and got it. And it was in a box! Carefully packaged!!, with blankets and such, in a box that would still be fit for shipping to some state across the country, like it has a few times. (well...until Workaholic got his hands on it, now I would recommend a new box)

And when he put it together, (which he realized he had done before), it looked like this…

Isn't it adorable? Isn't it nice?? Doesn't it not look like it's been used by 13 kids??? I was so surprised, given my husband's history with...well, destroying anything he touches, at how nice this cradle is. I know, I know, the kids only use it for a few months at the most before going into a real crib, and really, how much damage can newborns do? But these are not your typical newborns.

And if my kids comes out with red hair, and especially if it's a girl, please say a little extra prayer for me. Because I'll be in for one heckofa ride...