Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Stop Raining, Already!!

Rain, rain, go away, come again another day. (ya know, when it’s not the weekend!!) I know, I know, it’s only Wednesday. But it is projected to rain through the weekend. Which means that it will have rained every weekend since Memorial Day. I look forward to the summer all year. It’s a precious short 3 months…if that. Weep with me people. (of course I am fully aware that my life is cake compared to those poor people along any body of water in western Illinois or eastern Iowa, or those people in Wisconsin that were on the Today show whose dream house just slid into a lake and now have about, say, 1% of their land left…or Southern IN or Southern IL, although Chicago news doesn't report much on them, but I still like to complain) So rain gods? Help me out here. Just water the crops during the week, let us poor office folk enjoy our weekends. Thank you.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Oh...the shame!

Last night, Workaholic had to work the night shift, so I was alone. I watched my TiVo’d shows, and then got bored. After talking to a couple of friends, one of whom had to put her child in time-out for throwing a broom handle at her (he denied it sooo adamantly, even though she saw him do it), I realized that my cleaning lady was coming today. Now this is pretty much embarrassing for me, seeing as how I work, but don’t do much else. I don’t even cook much; I consider it a victory if there are SmartOnes and Stouffers’ in the freezer, and bread and pb&j in the pantry. So after taking a quick look around at the house, I decided that I needed to pick up before she came. Yes, I am one of those people.

After an hour of cleaning, my house is ready to be cleaned. Pathetic. AND, I vacuumed. What is wrong with me??

Monday, June 23, 2008

Surfing Queen

UPDATE: Tuesday, June 24th-Still sore. Hurts. To. Walk.

This weekend, I wake surfed!! It was very exciting, well, for me anyway, watching someone learn how to wakesurf is a lot watching someone learn how to waterski. It’s exhilarating for the person when they finally get up and stay up, but the people in the boat are going, “Finally!” It took about 8 tries for me to get up, after the seventh I wanted to give up. It literally felt like my ass was just not going to be able to be pulled out of the water. You know, when you ski or wakeboard, the boat just pulls you right out. Well, when I was trying to get up, I couldn’t get my butt out of the water, even though my feet were on the board and the boat was gunning ahead of me. (I blame driver error, although we’re not going to share that with Workaholic, since he was the driver.) He finally figured out that I needed to be dragged a bit until the board popped up onto my feet and then the boat could pull said butt up. (of course, we have a certified surf instructor in the family, but was he on the boat??? Nooo….)

The awesome part about when I finally got up was that another boat had pulled up after the 7th failed attempt with some friends of ours. The girl I know had a heck of time trying to get up the first time she tried to surf, but her brother not only got up after the first try, he threw the rope back to the boat and surfed after about the 3rd try!! (stupid athletic jerk) So they pull up and we chat for a minute and I lament about how I suck at this game, and the last thing the girl says to me as they drive away was, “You’re going to get up!” Thanks for jinxing me. I have a history of failing at things once someone expresses faith in me. In high school, I did really well in a game and my coach praised me, and I immediately developed a fear of the softball. At work, I did well in one position and got promoted, and almost crashed and burned, until I realized that I am the slowest. learner. ever.

So they drive away, the boat drags me and I (sort of) popped right up!! I was so excited I almost fell over. Well, I did after about 5 seconds, but it was an awesome 5 seconds. And the only reason I fell is because Workaholic ran out of water and rather than plow into the shoreline, he decided to sharply turn the boat, of which this novice surfer could not handle. But I got right back up and had great form and fell only because my legs started to burn because I am so out of shape. I think that I am the only person in the history of wake surfing who got breathless trying to learn. The below picture I what I am sure that I looked like surfing (umm...not really)...

Anyway, I will try again next weekend, with the goal eventually being that I get up on the first try and not freak out that I am five feet off the back of the boat and have no idea what I am doing. Unless of course unless there is bad weather, or the boat is mysteriously out of gas, or my muscles are still sore from yesterday.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008're on report

So my life is pretty boring…as evidenced by the fact that I feel I need to share the details of my boring life with anyone who is willing to read it on the internet. Every night, I go home, and I am tired, and so I grab a snack and settle down to watch one hour of TV.

Some would say that I have an addiction to the Mitsubishi in my basement. Or perhaps it’s the Lazy Boy hand-me-down couch that I sit (recline) on as I watch the Mitsubishi. Or perhaps it’s the sheer enjoyment I get of staring at a screen at people who have much, much more exciting lives than I. So, needless to say, I go into a little bit of withdrawal during the summer months. There are roughly... too many shows to count that I watch during the winter. During the summer, I find myself looking forward to Thursday nights for My Boys on TBS (a little 22 minutes of heaven). I also enjoy Army Wives and Jon & Kate Plus 8. So…that’s kind of it. I TIVO The Soup, because that is an easy way to catch up on all the shows that I don’t watch but everyone talks about. So…what?...about 2 ½ hours of shows a week…including commercials, which I don’t watch due to the wonders of TIVO? That’s just not enough to satisfy my enormous appetite. Seriously, during the winter, I can watch that much TV in one night!!

So the last couple of years, I’ve started watching Days of Our Lives during the spring. Now, you have to understand, me and Days go waay back. I’m talking, maybe when I was 9 years old, I started watching. I am thinking that my sister Cleo was 12, and she is 3 ½ years older than me. So I know all about Bo & Hope, and how Hope disappeared for a few years because Stephano blew her up when they got stranded on the island, and then she returned as Gina and hit on John Black, who used to be Roman, and then the old Roman returned. And I remember when Shawn was Shawn Douglas, and then Shawn D, and now he has a baby with John and Marlena’s daughter Belle, who is named after John’s late wife Isabella, who was Victor’s daughter, and…well, you get my drift.

With the way that work has been going lately, I’ve really looked forward to coming home afterwards and finding out what is up with Max & Stephanie, Sami & EJ & Lucas, and Chelsea & Daniel. So yesterday, after a particularly bad day, imagine my incredible excitement when I read the description and Daniel finally asks Chelsea out on a date and Sami admits her feelings for EJ…and then my crushing disappointment when I see that the bleeping U.S. Open is on instead of my beloved Days, because Tiger just had to send it into sudden death during the regularly scheduled time the day before.

I am fairly certain when things like this happen, they just keep going, they don’t show the prevoius day's episode the next day, so I will never see the moments I have been waiting for. What the hell NBC?? Don’t you know that housewives around the country depend on their daily fix of the goings on in Salem, and that we get very upset when we can’t watch??? I mean come on!! Most men that watch that crap watch it on the internet (while they are at work) anyway, or the country clubs subscribe to Dish, so put it on one of those channels, or couldn’t you delay in an hour or something?? WHY, NBC, WHY???

Today, I am OK with what happened yesterday, because there was an hour long episode of Jon & Kate Plus 8. But if there hadn’t been…who knows what would’ve happened.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Wedding, Anyone?

My friend Nadene has never been a big friend of the institution of marriage. It could have to do with the fact that her parents are divorced, or the fact that she doesn’t like to be told that she has to do something. Either way, she needed health insurance and her fiancée and her had been together for 9 years. So she decided last Thursday night to go ahead and get married at the local courthouse, on her lunch hour, on Friday the 13th. (don't think she didn't find the humor in that) Jennifer did all the legwork, meaning that she found the judge to marry them, set the time, and ordered the white bouquet.

So it went off without a hitch, (the judge was adorable! and soo thrilled to marry two responsible adults, apparently he married an 18 year old and a 22 year old that morning) and Nadene headed back to work, her fiancée had to stop and buy cookies for his co-workers on his way back to work (to help celebrate…their orders), and I went to Arni’s. Oh, Junior, I do love you.

Workaholic was unable to attend the ceremony, not real surprising since we were given about, oh, 16 hours notice, but he was able to make the dinner…an hour and a half late, but he made it!! The only picture I have so far is of the happy couple sharing their Dreamcicle cheesecake...

As low key the event was, (there was no string quartet announcing our arrival at the courthouse), it was ideal and very nice. Nadene appreciated the fact that we went through the efforts we did to come, and as much as she isn’t all about the ceremony, she was glad that we were there to share it with her. (and did I mention the judge could not have been more perfect??)

So congratulations Nadene and KB. Continued health and happiness to both of you…I love you!! (and this weekend looks gorgeous!!)

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Big Mouth

There is a book that I just read, it was a novel called Driving Sideways, (I totally recommend it) and it was about a road trip that a girl took and picked up her best friend along the way. She wasn't supposed to pick her up, but the friend decided to break off her engagement and leave her fiancée. So while the best friend is ranting about how much she hates the fiancée, the girl that the book is about narrates how she wants to rant along about how much she hated the fiancée, and what a smart decision her friend is making, but she won't. Because your job as a best friend is to listen to the venting and nod your head and not fuel the fire and say something that you'll regret later should they decide to get back together. My point? I am not that friend. I am the person who rants right along, who expresses my concern in a brutally honest way, and the person who says things that she regrets later because, well, they are true!

For example, my good friend recently was having a hard time in her marriage. I remember one particular phone call where I was stuck in traffic driving home from O’Hare. So this was probably a good 2 hour call. I knew many stories about her husband and events that would happen when they drank together and went out with friends. (also having been a part of one of those stories, I might have had a little bias) So when she told me of yet another, and how she was going to counseling but didn’t see the point, I was honest when I told her that she was talking as if her marriage was already over and they had filed for divorce. Even though they hadn’t, and supposedly were trying to make it work. I was that friend who said, “He did what??” and “He said that??” And, “I don’t know how you should have handled that or how you are going to get him to change.” Because to me? The behavior was not acceptable. And my opinion is obviously what matters most.

What should I have done? Listened, and not offered my "marriage counselor who would be a terrible marriage counselor" opinion. (BTW, they are now divorced, and I am convinced that she is much happier for it. Some people just grow apart.) As much as I try, and I have tried over the years, I just can’t be that friend who keeps her trap shut. Most of my friends know this, and I think secretly when they pick up the phone to call me in tears, they want to husband-bash, because I will totally engage. And I am not saying that I have stopped trying to not bad mouth people, but sometimes, I just can’t help it. It’s like offering candy to a 3 year old and thinking they’ll say, “Oh no thanks, I don’t want to rot my teeth.” Just. Doesn’t. Happen. Not in my world anyway.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

You thought you had a bad day???

The last few days have been pretty uneventful, nothing that I want to write about, so I was thinking back to when Workaholic and I were dating after college. We both lived at home, about an hour and a half apart. We’d talk every night, and compare days, and inevitably, every time, no matter what happened to me, his day was worse. There was one day though, I was sure that I had topped him.

I worked at a small animal clinic, and an owner had surrendered her pit bull to us, he was very emaciated and dying. We thought she was starving him, we later (too late) found out that he had a pancreatic enzyme deficiency. (Oops…I guess they weren’t terrible owners) Anyway, I came in that morning and he didn’t want to walk, so I carried him outside and set him in the grass. The cool, damp grass. Turns out, he was in shock, either the shut down of his organs from lack of nutrition or the freezing cold ground on his skin and bones put him into shock, and we had to euthanize him in short order. Poor Champ, he tried.

So they rest of my day, I had to go to class, then back to work where I got peed on, pooped on, and vomited on, and I thought for sure that that night I was going to have a worse day that Workaholic. I called him, and the conversation went like this…

“I worked 14 hours today, we had to kill Champ, and I got peed on, pooped on, and vomited on.”

His response?

“I worked 16 hours today and dropped 2 bricks on my head and knocked myself out.”

We no longer compare days.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Electric Boat Ride, Anyone?

I just got back from a boat ride on a boat whose capacity is about 10 people, and I am sure that there were more than 10 people on the boat. No biggie…right? I mean, just because the tip of the bow was almost level with the lake, that’s not a bad thing, right? I was OK with the dozen or so people on there until I noticed the lightening increasing in frequency. “Oh…it’s just heat lightening.” They said. Heat my ass! Lightening is lightening…it can and will fall from the sky and fry your ass. Hence, why I am here, alone, surfing the internet and blogging instead of out on the lake with a bunch of insane people. Who I adore. Let’s just hope they don’t get struck down by the heat lightening.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

A Happy Conclusion from my guest blogger

Hey everyone, today I am giving space to my first guest blogger, my dad. (not that he exactly gave permission, this is just how his e-mails read) He'll be able to tell you in his own way, the conclusion to the mighty Toyota Tacoma saga....of course, I am adding in my own thoughts...

I am not as good as Gail when it comes to enhancing stories. However, I will try. (waait...enhancing?) The 11 year old, 3 days ago, truck was pronounced to be unsafe at any speed, by Toyota. Very disappointed news. To say I was urinated off would be a like saying Mt. St. Helens was a fart in the wind.

I began the search for a like (key word) replacement. I got nowhere. However, sired off-spring unit #4, (that would be me!!) in her usual internet savy, found a site that listed every (almost) Tacoma on the planet (seriously). I went through 40 pages of trucks and having narrowed my selection, I found 1 (one) that fit the bill. It was in Elmhurst, IL. I directed the salesman to acquire it.

He called Elmhurst and said they would not talk to him, confirm they even had the truck, or talk dealer trade. Given such obstacles, I made the totally logically man decision and made a $500 down-payment on that truck that I did not know if it was available/in existence. The salesman insisted they made lots, or at least several phone calls,(which I am guessing to mean 1) to the Elmhurst dealer and could not get anyone to even call back. I woke up this am at 04:00 convinced I was not going fishing to Canada, and would spend my retirement driving a truck I did not like. Most discouraging. I figured global thermal nuclear war was the only option even thought it was too good for Toyota-especially those in Lafayette and Elmhurst. I got to work at least 1:15 (does that mean an hour and 15 minutes??)early. Moped around prior to flying to MSN.

The secretary in Hangar 6 who really runs and controlls the flight program, which would vaporize without her, was the next victim of my whinings. Turns out, she and her husband, who used to work for us but is now with the FAA in Indy, were good friends to your friend and mines', Bob Rorhman's right hand man, who everybody but Bob answers to. I asked if she could give him a buzz and relay my pathetic plight and tell him I would be out that very afternoon to chat.

Well, while driving to the east side domain of Toyota, what do you know but my cell phone erupts with the Emperors March--no doubt an omen. It's Casey the salesman. He has found a truck that meets all the requirements i.e. 4 x 2, 2.7L 4 cylinder engine, access cab, and 5 speed manual transmission. But it is black. Wants to know if I want him to get it from the dealer in Joliet. At this point an evil devil appeared before me, reminding me (channeling) of how Grandpa Thomas (not that he was an evil devil but he had a nack of getting his way when dealing with truck salesmen), bought cars, trucks, tractors and combines. I said no, but I would be there in 10 minutes to discuss "options". We tried again to get the dealer in Elmhurst to deal, but he wouldn't talk. The truck in Joliet was black and the one in Elmhurst was silver. I didn't want a black truck in Lafayette in the summer due to heat or winter due to the white road salt.

At this point I said I wanted to speak to # 2 in the food chain, the afore mentioned friend of our secretary. He called Elmhurst, left a voice mail and promised results by the end of the day. I left and went back to work- in a pouring rain (another omen). This was about 2:00. At 4:30 the salesman calls and advised that a deal had been struck and that the Elmhurst truck would be in Lafayette not later than Thursday. (YAY!!)

All you have to do is be persistent, a little adamant with a hint of arrogance, know the right people, and things happen. I called and ordered the trailer hitch and wiring, arranged for the rust proofing, (which obvoiusly worked wonders on the last truck, seeing as how 2 holes were rusted in the frame) the dealer will take car of all of that and let me know when it is done-early next week. Now if they just don't wreck it driving it down here from Elmhurst.

Dad...let me just say that I am happy that you finally got your way!!

Monday, June 2, 2008

Old Friends

Yesterday I received the weirdest call. Well, weird only in the sense that it was totally unexpected. Phone rings, and I pick it up totally thinking it was Workaholic, and am annoyed that he had woken me up for the third time that day. (What?? It’s a Saturday. And yes, the weather outside was indeed beautiful) Instead, I hear a voice I haven’t heard for almost 5 years, my friend from high school and college, Kate. Kate and I had a fabulous time in high school, doing all sorts of things that she laments that she can’t believe that didn’t get us get killed, or arrested, or killed someone else. I actually don’t remember many of these dangerous things, high school seemed like a blast to me, and while we did break a few laws, most of the kids that we knew were doing so. much. worse. Anyway, she got engaged after college, and I wasn’t particularly fond of her fiancé, as neither were most of our high school friends. (Workaholic reminds me that he doesn’t think that she liked him either…he made her nervous!!) I am sure that is what ended our speaking. (Well, what really ended it was one day I decided not to call her and see how long it took for her to call me. Yeah…you guessed, 5 years. I’m not bitter.)

Anyway, she had a baby recently and seeing as how she lives about, oh, 10 minutes from me, I sent her a card. This was the girl in school that whenever someone asked what she wanted to be, she responded a stay at home mom. (Seeing their reaction, she switched to teacher after not too long. Seemed like the next best thing.) So she is a teacher, well, was until she popped out a little boy. We had a good chat, and will meet for lunch sometime this week. It sort of makes me nervous, just because we were good friends, and then we seemed to grow apart. (well, actually she got new friends and didn’t need good ol’ me anymore, but who remembers way back then??...oh wait, I do) Kate did end up marrying the guy that no one liked, and so I guess I’ll just have to get over that. (Add him the list of my friend’s significant others who, if they hurt my friends, I’ll hurt them) But to be honest, it would be nice to have one of my friends here in The Region, especially one that knew me way back when.