Saturday, November 29, 2008

Black Friday

So a tradition in my family for years has been to go shopping on Black Friday. (yes, we are crazy) I think it originally started because it was a way to spend time together and bond while saving money while also knocking out some Christmas shopping. Over the years, we've realized that the insanity it has become has regulated us to also become insane. We went through the ads on Thursday, plotted which stores to hit in which order, and then...the jackpot. My nephew decided not to go home on Thursday night as originally planned, but stayed to *gasp* go shopping with his grandmother and aunts.

This is astounding for several reasons. One, he is 18 and home for Thanksgiving break from his freshman year at college. Two, he had a girlfriend waiting at home for him. And three, he convinced my mother to get up at 3:25am to go wait in line with him at Toys R Us. (to be fair, my mom only waited out in the cold for part of the time, but she was up and there!!) Mom always said that she would never be one of "those people" who gets up at 3am to go wait in line at Toys R Us to get the great deals. But there were 2 things there that were must-haves on the lists of grandkids, and well, she did what any other insane grandmother would have done. I just can't believe that my nephew is the one who got her to do it. Way to go!! Mission at Toys R Us accomplished, AND, they went to Target after that and accomplished another mission. What a great start to the morning.

As for me...let me just say that being 8 months pregnant at 4am at Kohls is not an advantage. People...yeah, they don't even see you. (and all that plotting, and the list...right out the window) But I got what I went for, and we even went back later, when it was still crazy, and got more. We got our traditional stuffed breadsticks from Lucas Pizza in the mall at 6am. Bread and Coke never tasted so good. 7 hours and roughly 10-12 stores later, my sister and I decided to call it quits. We had gotten everything that we could, plus a little for ourselves (hey...don't knock it 'til you tried it. It's just downright stupid to go shopping on that day, when there are such awesome deals, and not pick up a thing or two or three for yourself) I think that we only made 4 trips back to the car, and there was an incident with an exploding Sprite, but the holiday spirit was intact as we made our way home. (only to realize that gas went up 20 cents in the 10 minutes we passed the same gas station twice...guess the deals didn't extend to oil)

Once home, I ate, (leftovers...of course!) as it had been a good 6 hours since the breadsticks, and crashed. A three hour nap wasn't enough, and I slept roughly 14 hours last night. (and today) It's good to be home, and I am excited to sleep in my own bed, in my 64 degree bedroom. I think The Fonz is a tad bit bummed, because when we go to my parent's house, he gets his own twin bed to sleep on, and he doesn't have that here. We try to get him to sleep with us, but he is a bed snob. If he is touched, or if you move at all, he stands up, glares at you, huffs, usually farts, and then jumps down and flounces to the ground in disgust. Hey...can't live in luxery all the time. Might get spoiled.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Random Thoughts

Again, this morning, I had a great blog going in my head. I should’ve gotten up and written it, as I was wide friggin’ awake at 4am. Once Workaholic left for work though, I fell back asleep and couldn’t wake up for work. And now the genius work of art that was my blog for today is gone. So goes life.

Friends of ours mother made a beautiful blanket for the baby that I received at my baby shower, and we’d like to send a thank you note that includes a picture of me with said blanket. So I was standing there smiling, and smiling, and smiling, and finally I told him to tell me when to smile, he was taking too long. So he said, “Just give me a minute.” And then immediately took this picture. Suffice it to say, we will not be sending that picture. We got a much better one once I stopped laughing.

My sister and I are doing the Black Friday thing. And I think that we are actually going to go at 4am. Because really? Why not? I mean, what else do we have to do at 4am the day after Thanksgiving? A free day off of work for me? (no, sleep is not the answer, apparently) My only hope lies in that the economy isn’t so great, so maybe there won’t be the number of shoppers out that there usually is. Or maybe by the time we are dead, you know, by like 8am, those people will just be going out as we are headed home, van full of presents.

On a side note, does anyone watch The Hills? OK, I’ll admit it, I don’t. I only know what I see on The Soup. (Which I can’t even record anymore because my stupid C@mcast DVR isn’t as smart as my TiVO. It records the same episode 6 times in one week, instead of recognizing that it has already recorded that show!!! 5 times!!!!) Anyway, I digress. Spencer and Heidi went to Mexico and got married. Which is insane, because he is a horrible person that has a creepy flesh colored beard, and because she is pretty and blond. But obviously, not too smart. I wonder if the cameras followed them, you know, because they are filming a reality TV show, and that’s their job. Hopefully they did, because no family or friends were there to witness the blessed, albeit not legal, event. I can’t wait to find out when they break up.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

2 Families?

Last night, The Fonz disappeared. I let him out and he was more than thrilled to go…he loves this kind of weather. You know…the cold, windy, blustery kind that makes you want to sit in front of a fireplace? Yeah…he stands in the backyard, facing into the wind, checking out his domain, looking a bit like Mufasa on top of the rock in The Lion King. Apparently last night, he decided his domain was boring. And went a-wandering.

I told Workaholic that I think that he has another family, one that sees him every night, and feels sorry for him, and lets him into their house, and feeds him and gives him treats. And when he has gotten his fill of this new family, gotten all the love and adoration he can handle, he probably knocks the doorknob of their back door, asking to be let out, and they let him. And then he comes home.

Either that or he is having an affair with a coyote.

(This reminds me of Private Practice last night, where a guy brings in both of his pregnant wives. Yeah...he had two families)

So when he finally decided to make an appearance last night, he was all out of breath, and came trotting in like, “Hey, I’m home, let’s play!” As if nothing was wrong. Traitor. I punished him by making him sleep on the bed with me while I finished reading about Guns N Roses and their drug use and downfall. (ironically, the drug use was not their downfall) I am going to be such a mean mom…

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Winter Wonderland

Workaholic has spent the past three days working on a project in Michigan, and finally allowed himself to come home last night. (which is to say that his dad told him to go home and he felt comfortable enough with the progress of said project to actually leave) He called last night to report that he was soooo excited that he got to shovel the driveway there yesterday. (yes, he is a freak, and yes, we do own a snowblower…but why use it if you are perfectly capable of shoveling?? Fun!!!)

Anyway, when he walked in to the house, I am sadsadsad that I didn’t have my camera handy, because he presented me with a snowball all the way from Michigan. (I guess the top of his truck held snow the whole way home) So I held it for about .5 seconds, admiring its beauty, and then the Fonz saw it. I swear, I saw his eyes light up. You could actually see the excitement in his body movements, (he was trembling) and within another .5 second, the perfect snowball (good snow for a snowman, packed well) was plucked from its perch in my chilled little hand and whisked across the room. Where it promptly got eaten. In tiny little bites, mostly from the play bow position, and completely. The best part was when I let him outside a minute later, he ran out, and stood looking back and forth across the backyard, and you could just see the confusion. “I don’t get it??? Where is it??? I just ate some!! Where the hell is the snow??????” Poor thing.

What I didn’t realize is that a mere 5 miles from my house, (not even as the crow flies, but by actual roads), is that they got snow! Like, a lot of snow. As in 8-10 inches of snow. Enough to have to shovel, or snow blow, or dig your car out. Enough to be late to work, and to have everyone at work talking about the snow, because most of us got nothing. Not even a light dusting across our still green grass. Poor little Fonz. I won’t tell him if you don’t tell him that the snow was so close, yet so, so far away. (I am posting a picture of him from last winter, it was nighttime, and actually snowing, and he was sooooo happy)

Monday, November 17, 2008

Baby Shower

Yesterday, I had my baby shower. First of all, can I just say a big, ginormous THANK YOU to all who came, and all who bought me presents. Because I’m a bit ashamed to say that I kind of hit the jackpot. This kid totally has everything it needs and then some once it is born. And I’d also like to say another ginormous THANK YOU to my MIL and her sister, who put the whole shebang on. It was super nice.

When the whole baby shower thing started to be talked about, and we discussed venues, and decided that neither one of felt like having 50 of our closest friends and family over to our houses, (no offense…I think we just didn’t want to do that deep clean you feel you must do when having a big party…you know, like scrubbing the baseboards and other crap like that that no one even notices), and we settled on Tiebel’s…I had to laugh because even though that restaurant is sort of an institution for south Lake County, I had never been there. BUT, I heard that they have great fish. (which I know even though I don’t exactly eat fish)

So I walk in, and of course I am not early enough to greet the people who got there early, so I start to say hi to everyone and one of my sisters was quite surprised that I knew everyone there. I try. Hard. But it’s a big family and sometimes I get people confused or especially the little kids. I’m not very good with little kids; I never know what to say to them, so usually it’s just HI! and that’s about as far as I can go. I never think to compliment them on their awesome black Ugg boots, because I am too worried about what their name is and if they noticed that I didn’t say it because I was too scared about messing it up.

The one thing about my shower is that everyone complimented me on how great I look, and how cute I am, and basically saying that I am not huge and ginormous. Which after a while, I totally started to believe, until I saw the picture. I look like a big black and white pear. That is my MIL and can tell that they are just thrilled to be the grandmas!! I can't really tell if they are laughing or crying, or just want to lay down and take a nap because it was the end of the day and we were all pooped.

But anyway, it was a great time and it was great seeing you all and we'll have to get together again soon! Ya know, at the party that I promised to throw...

Friday, November 14, 2008


For those of you who have been so kind as to inquire about my ass? It's much better. No more stabbing pains, I can walk fine, go up and down stairs, and turning over in bed is only slightly painful, due to very mild lower back pain. But that's the only time it strikes, so I am happy.

I went to the doctor today, I gained 5 lbs in the last two weeks, which puts me at 25 lbs gained so far. I was hoping to keep it under 30 for the whole pregnancy, but the perils of Halloween and Girl Scout cookies are doomed to be my downfall. The more I gain, the more I have to lose!! The kid has his head down, which I guess is good, considering that's how it's supposed to come out. We're hopeful he/she will stay that way. Otherwise my doc says to "Keep up the good work." I think he likes seeing me because my visits are so short, I don't have much to say or ask. It's like, "Hey, how's it goin'?" "Good? That's great. Okay, see you in 2 weeks!"

And I am liking the new minivan...the girls I work with love it because I can drive everyone when we go out to lunch. The back-up camera is handy, although I still feel weird about using it...I like to use my mirrors too. Old habits die hard I guess. But there is no excuse for running over anyone now. There is a lot of beeping that goes on the car too, so I am getting used to that.

Otherwise, we don't have the nursery ready, we don't have the closet ready, we don't have the house ready, (although the guest room is set up for anyone that comes to stay), and I can promise you that The Fonz isn't ready. He did meet up with his old friend Mr. Skunk last week...but he kept his distance, so a quick peroxide bath took care of it. Thank God for the internet!!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Deep Thoughts, and other such Tidbits

Every once in a great while, someone will comment to me that I haven’t updated my blog in a while…which just shows how many many people I have that read it. Seriously, I guess I had a very busy month of October, and November isn’t shaping up to be much better. But it will. So I have time now, and I sit down to blog….and I am coming up short. Way short. I can’t think of anything interesting to say! How about I just ramble?

With Al Franken running for Senate in Minnesota, every time I see him, I think of “Deep Thoughts with Jack Handey”. Which makes absolutely no sense, because Al Franken played the character Stuart Smalley on Saturday Night Live, and “Deep Thoughts” was usually introduced by Phil Hartman. Anyway, I digress.

When I was a freshman in college, I had this brilliant idea to use “Deep Thoughts” instead of a normal voicemail. But the problem was that I liked to make up my own deep thoughts, and I ran out of ideas after about 3 weeks. And then I just left the last one on my voicemail for about 4 months. The only one that I can remember went something like this… “When leaves fall off of trees, where do they go?” Yeah, I was dumb. And really original…because there is a Deep Thought that goes like this… “If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.” Now that I have such easy access to the internet, I wish that I could leave a deep thought on my answering machine every week. Maybe I’ll do it here. This one seems especially appropriate.

“Sometimes I think that the world has gone completely mad. And then I think, Aw, who cares? And then I think, What’s for dinner?”

Or this one.

“If you ever feel like you’re on the verge of a nervous breakdown, just follow these rules: First, calm down; second, come over and wash my car; third, shine all my shoes. See, don’t you feel better?”

I am eating my third Blow Pop in three days. They are delicious. At this point, I don’t care that I am rotting my teeth and turning my child on to the wonderfulness of things like Blow Pops, Girl Scout Cookies and milk, chocolate milk, DiGiorno pepperoni pizza, powdered donuts, chocolate donuts (with milk, of course) and Coke. This kid is sitting in a vat of sugar at this point, so good luck to me once it’s born!!

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Growing Up

I think that one of the reasons that my husband and I dated for 8 years is that when people get married, it sort of says that you are growing up. And then, when you have kids, that is a big statement saying, "I am growing up." And as much as Workaholic and I like to analyze other people's lives, and say, "Oh, we would never do that", (and then do), we really don't like to admit that we are kind of grown up. So that is why what we did last week was actually incredibly difficult...because it means that we are not only grown up, but also very sensible.