A New Level of Lazy

I'm writing this as I am sitting in my dad's hospital room. He's reading the paper, or pretending to. Because every once in a while, I look over, and he's asleep. And every once in a great while, whether he is awake or asleep, one of his monitors pings. PING! And I look over to make sure he take a breath, because it pings when he is only taking 4 breaths every 30 seconds, or something like that. The first time it happened, he was awake and was like, "Geez, breathe." My sister immediately quipped, "Yeah, do you want to get brain damage?" And we all laughed at him.

As I was driving down to Indianapolis last night, and again this morning, I was struck at just how lazy a driver I am. You see, my car has this great thing called "cruise control." Maybe you've heard of it...you press a button and you don't have to keep your foot on the gas? Greatest. car. invention. ever.

MY van has this great thing that I call "cruise control 2.0." It's an even better version of the usual cruise control. Because when I set it, and I am driving down the road, and I come up upon another, slower car, my car automatically slows down! By itself!! Which means I don't have to take my poor little foot off of the floor of the car and press down on the brake pedal. It's flippin' sweet. And my car then paces that car, until they move out of the way and I can resume my pre-determined cruise control speed. And I don't have to do a damn thing.

But the past 2 days, I haven't been driving my van. I've been driving our little red race car. Which does NOT have CC 2.0. Which means that when I am speeding down the interstate, and a car cuts me off, I have to PRESS THE BRAKE! Can you believe it?? How dare that little red race car make me work??! And every time I get annoyed, I think to myself, "Wow, you are lazy." Kind of like my dad forgetting to breathe, except he has an excuse. And then I just miss my flippin' awesome minivan a little bit more.