I need to simplify.
That is going to be my theme for 2011.
I don't know how it is going to work out.
7 years ago, Workaholic was deeply involved in building our house. He built it himself. With (LOTS) of help from his dad and brothers and various friends who he had helped to build their houses.
6 1/2 years ago, we moved into our house. We incurred some debt buying furniture. (And yes, we have paid it off.) Here is the thing about our house...it is pretty big. We have lots of rooms and closets that we thought we would never ever use when we built this house. I was very adamant that there was plenty of room to "store" things and enough space to make any woman happy. The intention was to sell the house after 2 years, we would never need all that room. I didn't worry too much about decorating, or hanging pictures on the walls, because there was no point, we wouldn't be there forever.
And suddenly, I find myself out of room. I don't understand, or even know how it happened. I suppose the 2 small children have contributed. And my frequent trips to the outlets mall, and online shopping too. And having a husband who doesn't believe in telling me "no" didn't help either.
But I look around my bedroom and see things that need to be "put away." I see things that I don't REALLY need. I see closets full of clothes that Workaholic forgot he owned, and so I keep buying him more. (see above regarding the outlet mall) I go into the girls' rooms and see clothes that they have already outgrown, even though I JUST took them out of storage. I go into my dining room...and then just turn around and walk out. I buy picture frames to hang up family photos and realize that I have no wall room left. I don't know how this happened.
I am not sure where we are going to put the 12 foot tall Christmas tree that my in-laws are handing down to us. There is baby stuff cluttering my living room...a baby swing, bouncy seat, toy chest, Bumbo seat, floor activity mat...not to mention the assortment of dog toys and children's books that are strewn daily across the floor.
I am used to leaving my house on the weekends, getting away, and forgetting all about the mess. Forgetting about my lack of organization, my knack for leaving things laying around, and the usually empty pantry and refrigerator. Going away is my saving grace, but also my downfall, as leaving your home during the time when most people get all their shit done is not very conducive to getting things done.
I am home this weekend. Workaholic got Thanksgiving Day off, but has been working ever since. Sometimes there are times like this, he gets close to the end of a job and it is crunch time. It is what it is. I should be using this time to pick up the house. Clean the clutter. Put away the Halloween costumes that have been staring at me for a month. Clean off the counters in the kitchen and wrap and hide Christmas presents. Now is not the time of year to be disorganized.
Perhaps I will. Maybe I'll finish writing this, watch the rest of the NCIS episode that is on USA, and go find an empty storage bin. Maybe I'll put away the laundry, vacuum the upstairs, and feed my girls dinner. Maybe I'll take a nap and hope that when I wake up, it is 2011...and someone else organized my life for me.
Either way, on this weekend of thanks, I'm going to stop feeling sorry for myself. I'm going to not wish that I didn't have a house that is too big for me to handle...no matter how much help I get. I'm going to feel grateful for my girls, and my Fonz, and my Workaholic, and for all the other wonderful things that I have in my life. Because if there is one thing that I have learned by living in this house for the past 6 1/2 years, is to count your blessings. When you are feeling overwhelmed, sometimes that is all you can do.