Retribution...Fonz Style

Last week, I made a grooming appointment for The Fonz. I knew I couldn’t drop him off, and so I asked my mother-in-law to do it. And I promptly got made fun of by one of my friends at work…who the very next day had to ask her dad to take her dog to the vet! (Ahh…the life of working moms.) So I was a tad bit antsy because Fonz’s regular groomer no longer worked at the place, and he was to use a new groomer.

I HATE using new groomers. They always screw something up. Colby’s mom once cried when she picked him up because the dumbass who cut him had literally shaved him one length! A Golden Retriever! She even shaved his tail!!!! He didn’t even look like the same dog. So I wrote out a whole bunch of instructions and gave her 3 pictures. And gave her two phone numbers in case she had any questions. And then made my MIL drop him off.

And let me just tell you, he looks FABULOUS. We shave him every summer because trying to dry off a Golden Retriever with a full coat after a day full of swimming at 10 o’clock at night is NOT my idea of fun. And he rarely gets out of the lake until dark, which is around 10 in Michigan. And yes, we have tried to keep him out of the lake, but it just. doesn’t. work. It’s like telling little kids that they can’t have candy when you put it on their dinner plate.

The other thing about getting Fonz shaved is that inevitably, throughout the winter and spring, everyone tells me how FAT he is getting. “Oh Gail,” they say, “Fonz is just plain fat. He needs to lose weight.” Or they try to be nice and are all, “Umm…he’s looking a bit bigger than I remember.” And I have given up on telling everyone that no, he is just FLUFFY, because they roll their eyes and laugh at me.

SO HA BITCHES!! Check him out!! I took this picture last night, after I picked him up from his grooming appointment. HE IS NOT FAT! HE WAS JUST FLUFFY! Look how handsome…