About a year ago, my dear friend Nadene graduated from vet school. Vet school…as in, she is a doctor. So my other friend Jennifer threw her a party, since her family didn’t seem to think that it was really that big a deal that she was now a doctor. (in my infinite laziness, I did not help to throw the party, choosing instead to show my affection for her with money, in the form of a new Coach purse, because really…if you are a doctor, you should carry a purse with a label on it, even if it did come from the outlet mall) I had heard about Nadene’s mother, and knew how they didn’t get along, and the poor new doctor was in a state of quiet desperation. If she threw up, she was very sly about it, although I am pretty sure there were some nice prescription drugs involved, at the very least a bottle of wine. Anyway, I digress. So her mother opts to skip the ceremony (they actually said Nadene’s name when she crossed the stage and her mom missed it!!). I met her mother for the first time in the kitchen, by the island. I remember it like it was yesterday. I am just standing there, eating, of course, the delicious appetizers that Jennifer had made and she is like, “Oh, it’s so nice to meet you! So, are you pregnant?” And I said the only thing that came to mind. “No, I’m just fat.” Both of my friends burst out laughing and Nadene thanked me later for making her mother feel like a jackass.
Fast forward one year. Nadene’s grandma died. Her mother’s mother. We go to the visitation, and there she is, standing in front of her mother’s casket. Since it’s been a year, we get introduced again. And she says, “Oh, I remember you! I thought you were pregnant!” OK, if you were sooo embarrassed the first time it happened, why on earth would you bring it up again?? I am even fatter than I was a year ago! Even more pregnant looking! I understand that she was very upset about her mother’s passing and probably had been making small talk for a couple of hours, but moral lesson? Sometimes it is better to not say anything at all…awkward silence is expected and more than welcome.