Wednesday, July 16, 2008

I Really Thought I was Doomed

If you haven’t noticed, I am a bit nervous about this baby thing. I haven’t really gotten to the part in my head where I actually have it/him/her yet, so I’ve been reading tons of books about pregnancy. And the one thing they all go on and on about is morning sickness. And the one thing they all say is that you are pretty safe/lucky if you get out of the first trimester without experiencing it. Meaning, you won’t get it.

So imagine my surprise, when, at 15 weeks, I felt nauseous. I mean, it was sitting in my throat all day, right there, just bursting to come out…I couldn’t eat, I got no work done, and I slept after leaving work early just to keep it at bay. That was Monday. Tuesday, I thought I would be smart and head it off, so I ate as soon as I got out of bed, but once I got to work, it kept getting worse. Around 11am, I gave up and trekked down to the 3rd floor, which is unoccupied, and girls? If you ever notice that I have disappeared for an extremely long time, you might want to check the third floor to make sure I didn’t fall and hit my head and am lying bleeding, never to be found. Because really...there is no more private place in the building than the bathroom on an unoccupied floor. Just be careful if you get seasick in the elevator. (yes, it can happen)

The first time I yakked wasn’t so bad. It was when I had to run down there after I ate lunch where I was shaking and crying and had puke all over myself because apparently, if you vomit violently enough, it’ll just bounce right up out of the porcelain god back at you. (this is something new to me…I am usually a very clean puker...then again, that is for hangovers, and there is nothing but remnants of alcohol in your stomach at that point) (speaking of hangovers, I have the worst. Meaning I get all nauseous and have to throw up at least 10-12 times before I can even consider putting food into my stomach...I had figured that since I was cursed with such terrible hangovers, that someone upstairs had decided to go easy on the morning sickness)

I had to have looked awful, because the two office gossips chose this moment to ask me “How was I doing? And have I been sick? And when am I due? And are we going to find out what it is??” Please, kill me now. (wait, that is a terrible thing to say consider I am an incubator right now) Can’t you see that I am shaking and pale and have been crying?? Leave me alone!!

Even though I had a sore throat Sunday night, and the nausea was non-stop and laying down was the only thing that helped, (as long as I was in my own bed, of course…the little bench on the 3rd floor is a crappy substitute), I never believed that it was possible that I had a bug. Everyone kept telling me, “Call the doctor.” And say what? I am nauseous and vomiting and can’t eat. Yeah, that’s called being pregnant. I was sure that I had been cursed with the “morning sickness” and that I was doomed to be sick for the next 6 months and that I was not going to survive it. OK, I’ll admit it, I am a wuss. (and perhaps a bit of a drama queen??) But what was really killing me was the headache, it was like an Amtrak train was rolling over my brain. I finally caved and took one Excedrin on Tuesday night.

So before leaving work only 20 minutes early Tuesday, I e-mailed my wonderful husband a grocery list. Which consisted of things like chicken noodle soup and Gatorade and 7-Up and saltine crackers. And I got home and proceeded to cry and puke some more…but that was after having to pull over on the way home to projectile vomit out the car door, because who has the foresight to unbuckle your seat belt??

Fortunately, I was able to hold down Campbell’s chicken noodle soup, just the plain stuff, and 7-Up around 8:30 Tuesday night. And by 10pm, I was able to walk down a flight of stairs without stopping at the toilet first. I took the day off yesterday and thankfully, was vomit-free…although, to be fair, I was horizontal most of the day. In the evening, I started to feel normal again, you know, not pregnant?? But around bed-time, the headache and nauseau started to attempt to make a comeback. I killed it with a Tylenol PM. (yes, I can have that, it's just Tylenol and Benadryl)

So I would officially like to thank my mother and the advertising people at Campbell’s around 1984. My mother, for buying the stuff and teaching me how to make it in the microwave, and telling me to eat it whenever I got sick, and the Campbell’s people for telling me that if I ever got sick or cold, to eat their soup. The brainwashing totally works…it’s been all I’ve eaten all day. And it is the only thing that I’ve eaten in the past 2 days that hasn’t come back up. I even brought it for lunch today, a minute and thirty seconds from my little bowl of heaven.

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