Im-Proper Dog Etiquette

So I have a request to talk about the lake, and also a request to not be depressing. Ooo-kkkaaay. Let’s try.

So on Sunday, we decided to go out on the water, and of course, The Fonz was the first on the boat. (If we leave the dock without him, he has actually been known to jump off the pier and swim after the boat) If you can’t tell from his picture, he really is a handsome devil. Some might even say “pretty.” He is the happiest damn dog, and he is even happier when he is digging for rocks, or chasing rocks, or swimming around in random circles. (hey…easily entertained means less work for me-eee)

So here he is, swimming around in circles, happily, and he doesn’t even seem to mind the young energetic Labradoodle and her mom who are getting in his rock digging way. Then, another boat pulls up. (key in doomy music now) And another dog gets into the water. And the young energetic Labradoodle runs for the hills. Meaning, she promptly hides behind her mom and gets as far away from the new dog as possible. I am not really paying a whole lot of attention, I figure Fonz will become snobby soon enough and go play by himself, as he tends to do. Suddenly, there is growling. Oh dear.

Turns out, new dog likes to hump. Hence why Labradoodle ran (or swam, as the case may be). He humps anything that moves. He’d hump a swaying tree. Now would be a good time to explain why Fonz being pretty hasn’t exactly always worked out for him. Ever since he was a year old and I would take him to dog parks, he would get molested. Not the dominating, I am bigger than you, humping. The “I WANT YOU AND AM GOING TO TAKE YOU AND LATCH ON AND NEVER LET GO!!! YOU ARE MINE!!!!” type of molesting. And finally, much to my surprise and delight, he got sick of it. He started showing his teeth. That didn’t faze the horndogs. Then he would growl. They might back off, but then they’d be back with a renewed vengeance and determination, circling and stalking and behaving as though they were cat burglers. Finally, if he snaps and tries to bite, they back off long enough for me to get between them and chastise their owners for having rude dogs. (because I don’t care what you say, a dog mounting another dog is NOT appropriate)

I told new dog’s owner (who I really like BTW) that if his dog is going to hump, there WILL be a dog fight on our hands. He promptly removed his dog from the water. BUT, later, he approached Workaholic and said, “So, your dog is really aggressive huh?” As if it was Fonz that was the problem. (Ummm…yeah no) Talk about confused. Workaholic looked at him as if he was Mars and we all were on Earth, and it slowly dawned on him, the earlier growling. And thankfully, he retorted, “Not unless he is being humped. He doesn’t like that.” HA!! Inappropriate!!

Moral of the story?? If your dog humps, I feel bad for you. But don’t laugh or think that it’s funny…because I won’t be paying any vet bills for any damage that Fonz inflicts. If I was getting humped by some horny lesbian chick, you’d bet I’d bite too!!