Friday, August 1, 2008

A dear old friend

So my Fonz met up with an old friend last night. They only meet in the shadows, right around the time I am ready to go to bed. His name is Mr. Skunk, but we prefer to call him “Oh Shit”. This is at least the third time in his life that Fonz has met his friend, and I think he is learning something.

The first time, his head was soaked and I am surprised that he was not blinded by the skunk piss. (I can still see him running drunkenly, zig-zagging across the back yard, tripping over the deck stairs in a desperate attempt to come when called) The second time, it was almost as though he had rolled in it, leading me to believe that he had dodged a direct hit, but perhaps the aroma settled on him after the fact. This time, he got a square hit…on the tail. Meaning?? My beloved Fonz was turning tail to run as fast as he could when he heard those teeth chattering in warning, but apparently he didn’t run fast enough.

My wonderful husband agreed to wash said dog, seeing as how I am in a delicate position. (I wasn’t going to be the one to tell him that I’ve done this twice before, at midnight, and it was his turn and that I was perfectly capable of washing my dog’s ass, but since he volunteered and all...) So he did, and I helped by giving him the magic formula, (1 quart of 3% hydrogen peroxide, ¼ cup baking soda, and 1 teaspoon liquid dishwashing soap), and turning the hose water on and off. Aren’t I helpful??

What amazes me about the stench of Oh Shit is that it is worse than poop. It penetrates your nose, and skin, and clothes, until you are sure that you are the one who got attacked by a real life version of Flower from Bambi. All Workaholic had to do was open the door, (and promptly shut it), and within 10 seconds the smell had made its way across the house to our bedroom, (where I was reading about a woman who played animal warden and trapped skunks), and I rolled out of bed. This isn’t something that can be put off until morning.

The good news is that his tail now smells like Suave lavender conditioner, the bad news is that I think he still smells and want to bathe him again. FUN!!

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