Friday, July 17, 2009

It's all TV's fault

One of the things that I have always been sure of in life is that TV is a time-sucker. It could be a time machine, as it is the single-most invention on the planet designed to make hours fly by and you have no idea where they went. It’s even worse than the internet, because usually on the internet, there is some reading involved. With TV, however, you sit down on the couch, and next thing you know, Saturday has turned into Tuesday and you forgot to go to work. This I know, and I really am OK with that.

A couple of years ago when I joined myspace, I laughed and laughed when the profile question came up “Favorite TV shows.” And than I began to list them. I had probably 20 or so when I was done, ranging in everything from Animal Planet (the entire channel…except anything to do with reptiles or sharks) to Zoey 101 (OK, not really). But you get the picture. We even bought a 65 inch DLP TV that I still heart. And then I had Sam.

It’s not that I really watch that much less TV, because Workaholic is insistent that it MUST BE ON AND BE THIS LOUD IN EVERY ROOM THAT HE IS IN. It’s just that I haven’t watched my favorite TV in a while, in my favorite chair, or my favorite shows. Which, granted, aren’t on right now anyway. Moral of the story is, in the evenings, after I eat (or don’t eat) dinner, I’ve been taking walks. Always with Fonz and Sam, sometimes with Workaholic. It’s been great.

Until last night. I heard on the radio on the way home that there was a severe thunderstorm WARNING out for Cook and DuPage counties in Illinois. You know, the state next door. Which means that there IS a severe thunderstorm out there, watch out for it and take cover if it comes. Now, if you look at a map, Cook and DuPage counties in IL are just to the west of my house, and, contrary to my belief, not a bit north. So I set out on my walk with my mother and daughter and dog. And yes, I did notice the sky was dark, and the clouds were all roll-y and fast-moving. And yes, the thought did occur to me to turn around, but there was a thing with a house down the street, and her dogs, and I thought I’d keep going for a little while until she got them all inside. Stupid me, being all nice and considerate. We won’t let that happen again.

So we finally decide to turn around and go home, and then we decide to cut across the golf course to get home quicker, and then I make the mistake of looking up. It was a mistake, because no matter what, we were going to get soaked. But I look up and see the clubhouse, which is about 400 yards away, almost invisible through a wall of rain. And I mean, a wall. Which quickly overtook us. (and I now cannot get the picture of the nearly invisible clubhouse out of my head) So we attempt to run, alternately pushing and carrying the stroller, and the wind is pushing us over, and poor little Samantha is just lying in her stroller going “Why the hell am I getting wet with my clothes on?? This shit is COLD.”

We finally make it home, dodging the piles of dog poo as we sort of run across the backyard, and I say sort of because by now we’ve run against the wind quite a bit and we are both pretty much out of shape. Workaholic said later that when he heard the rain and saw the lightening he laughed at first, until he remembered that his daughter was out there, and so he jumped in the car to go find us. (good thing we had her, otherwise for all he knew we could have died out there.) I would be remiss not to mention at this point that the whole time Fonz, everlasting in his weirdness, literally pranced along next to us as we were staggering across the golf course and gave me that look that says, “Hey, can we do that again?” when we got inside. He likes water, no matter how he gets there, he likes to be wet.

Moral of the story? Either stay in and watch TV, let fear and common sense turn you around, or at least check the radar next time!

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