Thursday, February 25, 2010

Brain Shrinkage

I've been wanting to post a new post for 2 days. And I had some great ideas about what I could write about, and then I forgot. This morning, I was absolutely resolved to write something, and then I started thinking about lunch. This is a recurring theme in my life lately.

There is an article that was published in the Chicago Tribune on 2/9/97 (holy crap...13 years ago!). It first appeared in our office about 3 years ago. That was when the first of us twoppers got pregnant. She proudly displayed it in her cubicle as a disclaimer for anyone who asked her for help. We've since passed it around for the subsequent several births, this is the second time I'm getting it. It says "Women who complain that they lose their minds during pregnancy may be suffering from brain shrinkage and may not regain their full mental powers until six months after giving birth."

And boy oh boy...I need to just stamp this on my forehead and really just stop trying. For example... Every day, I walk down the stairs at my house, multiple times, and pass by a very large potted plant that sits next to the front door. And every time I pass it, I look at the poor thing, notice how it needs to be watered, and that I need to pick up the dead leaves that have fallen. And by the time I take 20 more steps into my kitchen, I have forgotten all about it.

This morning, I had two sets of keys in my hand, one for my car, and the other for our office. I looked down, and realized that only my car keys were in my hand, and immediately began lamenting to everyone in the elevator about how I lost my key and it was probably in the snow in the parking lot and so basically it was gone forever. Everyone laughed and told me "Good luck getting a new one" since our office manager DOES NOT appreciate when you lose your key. I was more upset about the pewter Golden Retriever key chain that came from a store in the mall which is now closed. After I got to my cube and was taking off my coat, I decided to check the pockets. And there it was, right next to my sunglasses. Apparently, I had the foresight to drop the key in my pocket so I wouldn't lose it!

I have actually walked from our master bedroom to the office in our house, which again, is about 20 steps, and completely forgot why I made the trip. And then I'll sit down at the computer and get on facebook, and log off, and then go back to the bedroom and remember why I went to the office in the first place! Usually, the second time around, I can make it there for the right reasons. Unless I get sidetracked by a potty break.

Don't even get me started on letting the dog out. He is boundary trained, which basically means that he doesn't leave our yard. (He especially doesn't go into our neighbor's yard, because they have two little ankle-biters who terrorize him and chase him. He has actually slid to a stop before when I let him out and he hears them bark. It's like he is saying, "Please mom, don't make me go out there...the bully's are out!") The problem with just letting him out is that I forget that he is out there. And sometimes I'll be all snuggled up in bed, watching the Olympics, and Workaholic is in the shower for an hour and a half, and it isn't until the shower turns off that I hear the faint scratching on the back door. He won't bark, even though he knows if he does that he comes in immediately, he just scratches. And scratches. And scratches. And then I have to get out of bed, put on my slippers, go down the hall, down the stairs, across the living room to the back door without losing my way. Lucky for me, he keeps scratching so I don't forget him.

I know it is just going to get worse too. And the more kids you have, the more you lose your mind, because that is the only way to deal with the insanity of newborns to teenagers. Oh well brain, it was nice knowing ya.

1 comment:

Pamela said...

Sadly, I know exactly what you are talking about. My boys and husband get all kinds of excited when they notice how retarded I'm acting and make fun of me. This is without wine.Awesome!